As simple as it sounds, our personal reality is determined by how we think about things. No matter what happens to or around us, we are affected only by what we think about those things, not by the things themselves. We are affected by how we describe incidents to ourselves and not by the incidents themselves.
We can make anything into a positive or a negative experience. This is a fundamental truth; it is amazing only in that it is not commonly understood in today’s society. It is something that should be taught early on in school. It is simple enough that very young children can understand it. In fact, if their parents and society understood and lived by this truth, children would naturally pick it up through osmosis.
Instead, what children come to erroneously believe is that we are vulnerable to the conditions and people around us. We learn to be affected by words, by language. We squirm because of what we think another sees or says about us. We allow another’s words to determine how we feel.
One consequence of this is that we grow up blaming other people and external circumstances for our own reactions and feelings.
Most of us go through our entire adult lives continuing to do this, as though it is completely natural, and as though we have no choice in the matter. Ordinarily it never occurs to us to stop blaming others or external conditions for our own feelings.